We are together.

And that is what matters.

I hold your laugh in the palm of my hand. Like a tender thing. A fragile thing. And I think of what it is to love and be loved. To gather in the perimeter of the wrecking ball and eat cold wings.

But we are together you see. And though we make no show of our tenderness, it cleaves us. And I puff puff after you, and you crush the nuts for my sandwich and John asks us to sing.

And all the while your laughs rest in my palms. And I sit so still. Still as midnight. Careful not to drop one.

Because we are together.

Philadelphia

I have wanted to go to Philadelphia for as long as I can remember. It’s just one of those cities you hear a lot about as a kid because of its role in US history. You know, the Liberty Bell and all that. Also, cheesesteaks…we must never forget the cheesesteaks. Oh, and my friend Lamont is from there and he is one of the best people I know. I have a LOT of reasons to love Philly.

The thing about being on tour that I think a lot of people who travel for work will relate to, is that you get a chance to visit these places but don’t really have the time to explore like you would on a holiday trip. But what I love? you can have these really beautiful, highly concentrated experiences.

We pulled up to the venue a few hours before sound check so I hopped off the bus and asked the first person I saw if they knew of any good coffee shops nearby. Little did I know, I had asked thee PERFECT person. Enter Jo, a soft joyful face, punctuated by fiercely intelligent eyes and topped with the cheekiest lavender hair. My people. And she just so happened to be our runner for the day! Jo ABSOLUTELY knew about coffee and was so excited to share her city’s gems with me. The first place she mentioned was too far—I wanted to get my steps in. So I went with the second, a Japanese cheesecake & coffee house, A La Mousse. Clearly, she said “Japanese” and I was all over it 😅. IYKYK.

Stace and I walked over and it was so cute and the city is covered in beautiful art. Murals, tag, billboards—art everywhere. My little walking pics don’t do it justice at all, but it made a big enough impact that I find myself thinking about it this morning.

I didn’t get to see the Liberty Bell. Oh drat. But I got to meet Jo, and see a little bit of Chinatown and learn about the gentrification and displacement taking place in Philly (a common theme in all of the cities we’ve been to). Hearing Jo speak so passionately about the issues in her chosen home reminded me of a mother talking about their child’s struggles, acknowledging the problems but having such dogged faith that it will be okay. Such love. It moved me deeply.

So, Philly—I love you. Thank you for Jo, Mahon & Kyle at Union Transfer. Thank you for good sound and a GREAT runner who saved the day by gorilla gluing my thunder boots back together so I could perform. (Those musical theatre kids will save the day every time. My people.) Thank you for Dyana Williams and Jill Scott. Thank you for the music—Gamble and Huff, Zhane, Jazmine Sullivan and especially thank you for Phyllis Hyman 🕊️

And thank you for the beautiful energy in the room and all the beautiful fans, new and old, that came out to support. Oh what a moment in the woods. I’m ever grateful 🙇🏽‍♀️

tired

of this shame I carry.

of limiting my joy

of holding my consciousness prisoner from the present.

of aching in this way

What I seek is the purest form of me.

to embrace her and feel her honest fingertips in my hair

on my neck

to know what it is to be me.

to unspool the sin

the secrets

the shame

to live.